The end of summer:(

Tomorrow I go back to work and my summer is officially over. My long list of things to do only got half way finished. You would think that my house would be neat and tidy but instead I think it looks worst.
Where has the time gone? At the beginning of the summer I had this plan for everything that I was going to get done while I was off. My focus started off strong but then other things got in the way.
The question of where I was going to work was weighing heavily on my mind. I had 3 weeks to prepare for Sarah's birthday party. I guess that can pretty much sum up most of my time in June and the beginning of July.
After that everything seems like a blur. Time went so quickly that I can't really remember what we did every day. I can count on one hand the number of naps I took this summer.
I feel like I wasted my summer and now it's too late to go back. There are so many things I wish I had done:
Set up more playdates with Sarah's friends
Exercised at least 3 or 4 times a week
Organized our closet and kitchen
Set up a cleaning schedule
Cleaned out the garage and car

I did accomplish a few of the things on my list:
Making a binder for all of our important papers (Thanks Anjolee for the idea!)
Take Sarah to swim lessons
Clean out the laundry room (however we've managed to fill it up again)

Father's Day

Today was Aaron's 3rd Father's Day. I was so excited because I had bought him a really neat card from the kids. It lets you record your voice so I thought it would be cute for Sarah to put a message on there. It took eight tries before we got a recording that was loud enough to hear.

I got up with the kids and let Aaron sleep in since it was his special day. I had been teaching Sarah how to say "Happy Father's Day" all week. He walks into the living room and Sarah yells "Happy Birthday Daddy!" and runs to give him a hug. It was so adorable and we all had a good laugh.

In that moment I just felt God's love surrounding us. Sometimes I just wonder how I ended up with such an awesome husband who loves me and our children so much. Whatever I did to deserve him I am glad that I did it. He really and truly is a great man. It's not just the patience he has with the children and let's face it me too. The things that make him so wonderful are all the little things he does everyday. For example, taking the early feeding with the baby so that I can go workout or get a little extra sleep, washing the bottles, giving Sarah a bath or rubbing my head at night when I can't fall asleep.

I expected a lot from the man I was going to marry because I had been raised by a father who had taken excellent care of me. My dad put up with my high maintenance ways but made me the person I am today because of his patience and unconditional love. So when I married Aaron I expected the same from him. He has not only been what I wanted but so much more.

Today I am grateful for the man who raised me to feel loved and for the man who loves me every day through the ups and downs. I am strong because of them. They help make me who I am and drive me to become better. They are proof that God does love me.

You can do it!

This is what I tell myself so that I get through my exercise time every few days. It all begins with talking myself into wanting to go. I go back and forth for about 15 minutes thinking up all sorts of excuses. Then I remember that none of my clothes fit and it would be a HUGE waste to have to get rid of them just because I was too lazy to exercise. So, I get on my workout gear and head out the door.

First I have to push past the pain. Then comes the fatigue. Finally, if I can make myself go long enough I get to that point where exercise feel pretty good. When I am back at home I feel so good about going and wished I had another 30 minutes to do more. However, mommy duty calls and I feel lucky that I even had the opportunity to go.

I do get frustrated because the results are slow in coming. It seems like after Sarah was born I got back to my old size a little faster. Of course I could be remembering things a little differently than they really happened. Either way it's going to take alot of working out and eating less to get the job done.

I wish I could look at myself through the eyes of my daughter. She says I'm pretty and truly believes it. When I look in the mirror I see all that I think needs improvement. I think I need a different mirror:)

One mad mommy

Today I had to buy milk because we were running really low and probably wouldn't have enough for what I wanted to make for dinner. I have always bought my milk at Braums because it tastes the best and it doesn't have anything harmful in it. However, today I am seriously considering never buying milk there again.
I had heard from other moms I know that if you need milk from Braums and you have your kids with you, that they will let you purchase it through the drive thru. So I drive there in a pretty good mood. I had just gone to Chick-fil-A to get my free chicken strips (teacher appreciation day, I love Chick-fil-A) and getting milk was going to be my last stop.
I get to the drive thru and place my order for 2 gallons of milk. The girl then tells me that they do not allow people to purchase milk at the drive thru. I then proceed to tell her that I have my two young children in the car, one of which is only 7 weeks old. She then tells me that it is a company policy to not allow the purchase of milk at the drive thru. At this point I am getting mad. I let her know that the Braums in Fossil Creek allows it and then I turn my car around.
I momentarily consider just going home without the milk. Then I realize that we really need it and I DO NOT want to go to the grocery store.
I pull in the parking lot and unload both kids. Sarah has to hold my keys and wallet because I realize that my pants don't have pockets and I need both hands to hang on to both kids. We go inside and I put my milk on the counter. Then I see the girl at the drive thru and give her a dirty look. I know that isn't the most mature thing to do but like I said I was mad. While I'm paying I start to ponder how I am going to get the milk to the car if both of my hands are occupied by children. Thankfully, the wonderful cashier didn't even hesitate or ask but just picked up my bag and started toward the door. I was so grateful for her at that moment!
I know that this is not that big of a deal but it did put a damper on my day. I don't expect alot of special treatment because I have children. However, I don't think it's too much to ask for a store to help parents out every now and then. Once I got home, after we ate lunch I logged onto their website and made the first complaint I have ever made in my life. I hope they listen but know it probably won't make a difference.
Today's lesson:
Life is full of challenges, deal with them and get over it.

Big girls do cry...alot

Being a new mommy is a hard adjustment. Technically I'm not a new mom since this is my second child. However, I feel like the adjustments are just as hard to make the second time around. This week I got a taste of what it is like to be on my own with the kids.

Unfortunately, I did not do as well as I thought I was going to do. I cried about almost everything the first day. I felt overwhelmed and wished many times that I had an extra set of arms. It's hard when I am feeding the baby and then Sarah needs to be held too. I don't want her to feel left out or like she isn't as special.

I know that all of these feelings are temporary and that as Evan grows it will get better. I do expect more challenges along the way too. I want to do the best I can to make both of my children feel loved. I prayed a lot this week and I know God was listening. It made me feel like I wasn't so alone.

I think next week will be better. Hopefully I will cry a lot less and instead pray a lot more.

A whole new world

Now that little Evan is here I thought I would change the name of this blog. It will now be a place for me to talk about the joys of motherhood, along with the challenges.
Having two children is definitely much more time consuming and I think it will take a while before we are able to get our routine down. Right now we have no routine and no idea of what each day will bring. For those of you who don't know me very well, I am a planner. I like to know what is going to happen next so that I can be in control. This situation is hard for me because I don't have control over very much.
I hope to be a good mom to both of my children. I can say that this time I am much more relaxed. I feel better equipped to handle alot of the ups and downs of these first few weeks. However, I am relying on alot of prayer. God and I talk constantly these days.

And we're off...maybe

The contractions have officially started! Saturday night I started having contractions and they haven't stopped. Unfortunately, they are very irregular and always stop short of being enough for a hospital visit. I will say that they are real contractions or at least they feel real.
I'm going to try to tough it out as long as I can. I don't want a repeat of what I went through with Sarah where we went to the hospital just to be sent home. It helps that I've been through this before and kind of know what to expect.
I feel almost ready for the baby to come. Sarah still needs a bag packed and the house is a mess. I was hoping to be able to make a trip to the zoo with Sarah sometime this week but we will see if the baby cooperates. Thankfully we had a great day together today so I am grateful for that.